Domestic Goddess? Or Not…

I’ve always seen myself as a pretty decent cook. I’m hoping from the recipes on here that most of my readers will agree with that! However I have a problem, and it seems to be a pretty big one – I cannot cook anything for my boyfriend!

The first time I cooked for him I blew the electrics in the house after putting the oven on. As it turned out, the oven died its least death that night (it had been threatening it for a while!) and so it wasn’t technically my fault, but it still happened, and it’s still brought up pretty regularly.

I had numerous disasters whilst cooking for him at other times – overcooked rice, a particularly sloppy mince-potato-bake thing, too-spicy chillis and bland curries. But since moving into my second-year house I don’t think I’ve managed to cook him a single meal where everything has been faultless, or even edible.

  • I bought a ready-made pie from the butchers (see here). Didn’t notice that one of my housemates had turned the oven to 250C, so I served up burnt pastry and cold filling.
  • Trying to redeem myself, I bought another pie. This turned out to be a mushroom instead of a ham one (and he hates mushrooms!). Not only this, I managed to boil the broccoli to slop…
  • I scrambled a carbonara, although luckily he really enjoyed it. He claims I always undercook egg though, so maybe it was properly cooked?!
  • Somehow (and I really don’t know how!) I managed to burn potatoes that were boiling in water. The pan didn’t boil dry, there was plenty of water, but the spuds were stuck to the bottom. The mash that night tasted distinctly chargrilled…

Whilst all of the above were bad, the other night really took the biscuit. I know, and everyone else knows, that I can cook a pretty damn good Toad in the Hole. I can do it without measuring, without checking cooking times, with my eyes closed basically. But one Friday night I decided to follow a recipe. Bad plan. Resulting in this (ps – the featured image at the top of this post is how it is MEANT to look!):

2013-11-15 19.12.22

Yes, that is the ‘batter’ of my cooked Toad in the Hole. It was hideous! Completely doughy and flour-tasting, and utterly inedible. Thankfully we bought amazing sausages from the butchers, infused the gravy with cooking liquor from a twice-cooked pork belly dish, and I managed to make decent mash. Moral of that night – don’t follow a recipe when you know what to do!

 

Does anyone else have the inability to cook for someone they are trying to impress?