Lifestyle: What’s It Really Like to be in an LDR?

Over four years of (term-time) long distance has meant we were well practiced in the Sunday-goodbyes, late-night phonecalls and Skype dates. It’s not the easiest situation to be in, though thankfully we managed to squeeze in plenty of visits and weren’t *too* far from each other. And, as regular readers will know, it came to a permanent end this summer, culminating in us moving into a flat in London right at the end of August. For now though, here’s a bit of an insight into what it’s really like going through university in a long distance relationship…

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Fear Of Missing Out

This is a big one for me, I suffer from FOMO dreadfully! Whether it’s something going on up at Will’s (I was gutted I missed going to see the Bond film with him last year), or if there’s a night out planned at mine when I’m away on a visit, it’s always difficult to accept missing out on things. Realistically though, it’s inevitable with an LDR.

Hatred & Love for Train Stations

I used to get dreadful motion-sickness on trains, but definitely not anymore! It’s also definitely induced both a love and hatred of train stations. I love them on Friday nights; getting to wait until you see that face in the crowd, then Sundays are spent hiding my face in his chest pretending I don’t need to leave. I do now have a love for St Pancras/Kings Cross though, after his nearby proposal! Oh, and I also knew the Southeastern timetable off by heart…

Visit Spreadsheets

Both being a bit of a geek means that spreadsheets are the easiest way of keeping track of visits. We try to plan them at least four weeks in advance, so we can take advantage of cheaper train tickets and try and plan social bits and bobs (see FOMO!) around them.

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Delay Repay

Relying on trains means delays happen. Annoying but true! Very often a tiny delay on one line will lead to us missing connections, I feel like I spend a good chunk of my time applying for compensation. The best one is still in our first year, when I got to St Pancras on my way back to university only to find heavy snowfall had cancelled all trains…the thought of being stranded overnight was terrifying!

Phone Permanently in Hand

Being apart meant it quite often feels like I’m in a relationship with my phone. I tended to carry it from room to room, and in some ways it still felt like a new relationship – every text will make me smile. Even now my first thought when something exciting happens will be to text W. Yep, even when he is sat next to me…

 photo 2016-02-14 15.21.08_zpswfg3l2wt.jpgSo yeah, it wasn’t easy, but at the same time I wouldn’t have had it any other way! I know this is a bit of a cliche, but I truly believe that if it is meant to be, things will work out. Sure, you’ll have to work at it, there were so many times I cried and said I’d had enough, but we fought through it and four years later he gets to see all my bad hair days, my spotty days, my hormonal days…there’s definitely bonuses to LDRs too!

Have you ever been in an LDR? How did you find it?

  • Rhiannon B

    You two are so cute 🙂 So glad you finally got to move in together! I’ll have been in LDR for 4 years by the time I’ve finished teacher training, thankfully my OH is the one who comes to me, so no panicking about coach times for me!xo

    • ninegrandstudent

      Thank you! I think we did the journeys pretty evenly, though I did more on my placement year as I had the money for the trains! We did the four years, it was originally due to be five but I’m so glad it’s over! x

  • These are all so true…especially about the train stations! So glad I stumbled across your blog…I’m also a NINEGRANDER (just graduated)!! Lauren –

    • ninegrandstudent

      Congrats on graduating! x

  • Joanne

    I’m in an LDR and being in high school, it is tough especially with such different schedules. It’s hard to keep on being with someone who’s literally worlds away, and yes the FOMO part is SO REAL! I’m so glad it’s actually normal in an LDR and knowing that other people experience it as well so it’s not just me being overly clingy or demanding. Thanks for sharing about this! I loved reading it. x

    Joanne | Life in Blue Skies

    • ninegrandstudent

      Hope it helped you – good luck with the LDR! x

  • I found this so relatable, I’ve been in a LDR for almost a year now. There are those moments when it breaks my heart to be apart but when we are together it’s the best feeling and is worth it all (even when I’m stuck in traffic for hours!). We’re always planning what we’ll do when we’re next together and my phone has become an extension of my body. I think the one thing I always have to remind myself when I’m feeling very emotional about being in a LDR is that it’s not forever.

    Natasha | The Night is Wild

    • ninegrandstudent

      This is so true. I hope you haven’t got too much longer to go! x

  • Hi Chloe,

    I found your blog through the co-op energy saving tips for student, I’m part of it too so I thought i’d visit other bloggers that are on it too 🙂

    LDR sucks and I’m in one too unfortunately! 🙁

    I’m also with my phone all the time so I could text my boyfriend who is all the way at Loughborough Uni whilst I’m at Bournemouth Uni.

    Hopefully things will get better after you graduate though! 🙂 xo

    Bollianaxo | Student’s Lifestyle Blog

    • ninegrandstudent

      My other half was also at Loughborough – that train station was the scene of many tearful goodbyes! We actually graduated this summer and moved in together, it was definitely worth the hard four years! x